Reflecting on 2024: A Journey of Growth, Friendship, and Lessons Learned

Wow, what a year it has been! Today marks the final day of 2024, and it feels like ages since I last wrote on this blog. So here I am, writing to capture the highlights and, more importantly, to share some thoughts that have been occupying my mind lately.

This year has been extraordinary in many ways. I secured a Ministerial Scholarship, achieved an IELTS overall band score of 8.0, and received an LoA from the Australian National University. Honestly, it feels surreal, and I'm so grateful for these accomplishments. But today, I’m not here to dwell on those milestones. Instead, I want to talk about something closer to the heart—friendship.

Friendship has been on my mind a lot lately, and after hearing endless advice to write things down to clear my head, I’ve finally decided to give it a shot.

Friendship and Expectations

Let me start by saying that I’m naturally a laid-back person. I can be so laid-back that it crosses the line into indifference, and I know that this trait has likely annoyed more people than I care to admit. But there’s this one friend—I’ll call them "A"—who I just can’t be indifferent to. That’s where the complication begins.

I feel like I’ve invested so much in this friendship, only to realize that A doesn’t seem to feel the same way about me. That disconnect, that unmet expectation, has been gnawing at me.

Lessons from Stories

I recently read a book titled A Very Yuppy Wedding. Funny title, isn’t it? It’s about a couple with impressive backgrounds—both smart, successful, and attractive. But the part that struck me most wasn’t their accomplishments; it was their egos. No matter how close two people are, differences are inevitable. The key is how you navigate those differences wisely.

Around the same time, I read Steve Jobs’ biography. Jobs, as brilliant as he was, had disputes with nearly everyone, including his closest friends. It was fascinating to see how even someone as compelling and assertive as him couldn’t escape interpersonal conflicts.

Both books made me reflect on my own behavior. Am I selfish? Do I impose unrealistic expectations on others? These characters felt like mirrors reflecting my own flaws. Life rarely aligns perfectly with our desires, and that’s okay. The real challenge lies in communicating effectively.

Lessons Learned

1. Speak Up About Discomfort
   Keeping things bottled up is destructive. Misunderstandings will grow, and in the end, I’m the one who suffers. Moving forward, I want to practice openness—sharing my thoughts and feelings as honestly as possible, but only when doing so is still beneficial
2. Learn to Let Go
   This one is hard, but it’s necessary. I’ve realized that I can’t demand reciprocity when I freely give. My resolutions for 2024 included giving without restraint, but starting in 2025, I’ll need to rein it in. My ego has grown to an unreasonable size, and if I don’t curb it, I might spiral further. It’s time to find my old self again—the one who embraced balance.

A Hopeful Start to 2025

I plan to write more journals like this. Hopefully, these reflections will help me untangle my thoughts and steer them in a healthier direction. As we bid farewell to 2024, I feel a mix of relief and anticipation. Here's to a new year filled with growth, clarity, and meaningful connections.

See you in 2025. Let’s do great things. Aamiin.

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Comeback

Setelah sekitar 3 tahun blog ini tersimpan rapi di database google tanpa kunjungan dari siapa pun, saya akhirnya memutuskan untuk mempublikasikan kembali blog ini. Blog ini dibuat pada saat saya berumur sekitar 16 sampai 17 tahun. Sekarang saya sudah 21 tahun. Ya, time flies kan?

Lalu apa yang membuat saya menutup blog ini kemudian membukanya kembali?
Sepertinya sudah jelas, saya menutup blog ini karena seluruh isinya berupa privasi curahan hati saya. Dengan kata lain, this is the my chapter I don't read out loud. Terlebih sepertinya blog ini tak begitu memberikan faedah bagi banyak orang sehingga saya memutuskan untuk menyimpannya saja.

Namun hari ini saya ingin membuka kembali blog ini dengan harapan bisa bermanfaat bagi orang lain atau setidaknya bagi diri saya. Sebagai pengingat bagaimana perjuangan saya beberapa tahun silam dalam mengejar mimpi. Dan bisa dikatakan, mimpi saya pada saat itu terwujud, yaitu bersekolah di salah satu perguruan tinggi terbaik di Indonesia.

Saat ini saya sudah berada di tingkat akhir, perkuliahan saya pun pada dasarnya sudah selesai. Tinggal beberapa hal yang masih harus saya lakukan. Namun saya berfikir harus ada lagi big move. Semoga blog ini bisa mengingatkan saya kembali tentang diri saya yang sebenarnya. Aamiin

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Great Lesson Today

Again. What a wonderful day. Although, I have a massive headache today, but after all, I feel happy today. It's meaningful day. I've got many things one more time. I have a great quote "Usually, we feel the pain of doing something is greater than the pain of not doing something which is actually vice versa". You know what?, It's absolutly true and clearly reflect some of my activities. But now, I must change it.

In this case, sometimes, I choose not to do something rather than doing something and I feel weird as well as worried at once. But, when I do that thing, actually It's not so that worse. So, maybe rather than avoiding something you afraid of or shy, you can do it immediately regardless about what the outcome will be. Who cares? I mean, you can feel better rather than just not doing anything.



The other thing I get was about who your self is. I got quotes which is "You are the outcome of what you think about you". Isn't it definetly true?. What I write about here is about how you describe yourself. I mean, what you used to think about you self is you. So, I suggest you to throw out every negative thinking of your self and collect as well as make as many as possible positive thinking. This will stimulate you become a greater person. Believe me! It's definetly true.



Actually, I've got lots of loads in my mind to write but I think it's quite enough.

And here, the great way to make goal! I think it works.
Goal Setting ? Write out your goals. For each goal, list out a set of sub goals which contributes to the larger goal. For each sub goal, list out a set of small projects to help you achieve them. For each project, list out a series of tasks and action items. Prioritize the tasks. Schedule to execute the tasks.



And here are my answers for some questions I've got.

#1. What are some things you?ve wanted to do, but have not found the time to do?
~Learn for more than 5 hours per day. I think I can't accomplish it effectively.

#2. What would you like to do on your solitude day?
~ Doing everything I can't do on my very busy days such as watching movie, learning for more time, sleep over (LOL) and so on

#3. What is the ultimate vision for what you want (above)?
(The ultimate Be specific in describing the outcome you desire.)
~ Being smarter and having high IQ. And the ultimate one is to pass university entrance, thus I can do more to develop my self to have a better life. I must do this because My only option I have is to become successful.



#4. Why must you achieve the target outcome?
~ Because I've got many beliefs that I can make it true. I must have as high self quality as I can.

#5. What are the reasons most important to you?
~ It's clearly written above.

#6. What does achieving the outcome mean for you?
~ It means a lot for me. It can say all of my labour all these past two years. I don't have option to be failed anymore.

Well, That's all. Wasn't it great? Yeah, I get high valuable lessons today. I hope it's useful. See you. Keep chasing your dream. :)



Please leave a comment. ;)

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The Real Relaxing

Being relax is one of my favorite feeling. I've read an article which tells about how to find clarity. In this case, to find clarity of yourself or to get rid of something detail which should be completed (something's like your tasks and all about its details which have to be done and so on).

Yes, sometimes when we think harder and longer or maybe different, we'll much energy and emotion. It makes you tired inside. And, the only thing which is able to overcome it is to be relax. And here, I'm going write some tips that I've done so far.

~ Listen to music. You don't need to set up your mp3 player, tape, etc. with some slow or let say ballad songs. Just listen to your favorite one and enjoy it as much as possible. Feel the song and if it possible just sing it out loud.
~ Watching tv and having coffe. It'll be comfortable time. I love such this moment but it's the hardest to do.
~ Taking a bath. It's one my favorite habitual. It recharges my mind again. Touching the cold water (but don't feel like ice) is such a relief moment. I often get many ideas when I do this.
~ Strolling around alone in green nature environment (especially in the morning and afternoon). I sometimes doing this to get rid of some I bored. When doing this, I merely talk to my self and evaluate as well.



That's all. I think It'll be work when you feel dizzy and don't know what to do or have a huge task and don't know how to start correctly regarding to the details. See you! Keep chasing your dream. :)

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Self Reflection

Self reflection. I think that title seems a little cool, right? Okay. Today, I talked to myself again and I think to write what I've talked will be good.

Well, Actually I talked about my self. You know, I have a lot of lack. Therefore, I'd like to see my self clearly. To know your self better will make you know everyone better, right?.



Actually, I've seen my own video when I was teaching my friend. You know what it seems? Yeah!. It's so funny. Act like a teacher but with children behaviour will make that video so weird.

When I see that video, I think it wasn't myself. It's like I see another person which is actually me. You know what? I had never realized how I look like till I watched that video. It makes me think of me better. I mean, to see who I am in others mind. So far, we only see our self by one of point of view that is ourselves (unless you're someone who appears on tv or cinema so that you can see how you behave). Then, I was thinking that I've just known who I am in other side. It makes me realize, to know something better (in this case, yourself) you must see in more than one point of view. It'll be so much valuable.


I call it self reflection. I think sometimes we need to be quite and thinking about how we behave. It's not daydreamer. It's about making ourselves better. To see what to change, to improve and to keep up. Therefore, I also record my self when I was speaking. LOL. It's just to know how I speak and what I speak.

In other hand, I think sometimes we need to be not really concern to what people think about you. I mean, as long as what you do is not bothering nor harming the others, it'll be okay to do. You mustn't let what you think interrupts you to do more. It makes nonsense. It can even make some disadvantage for you. So, just be confident! Do it! Don't be doubt! Don't be interrupted!



And, I have a great quote today from Vina Panduwinata who is one of my idola. She said "To give a good perform (action, behaviour, feeling and attitude) you mustn't think that you're better than someone, and neither worse than someone. It'll make you feel better and do normally. I think it's good quote to be implemented.

That's all a few things of lessons I got today. I hope it'll be useful. See you! Have a nice dream. Don't forget to leave a comment If you've read it. Bye! Keep chasing your dreams. :)

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Today's Lesson

What a fascinating cartoon!. I've been watching The Simpsons these late weeks. It was fun. I can view american life better there. It's amazing. :) Although I just saw the oldest one which is first season to third season, but it was fun. I think, sooner I'll finish it through the recent one. I've been watch the simpson three episodes per day. It's so damn entertaining. I highly recommend you to watch it. :)



Well, actually, I also get familiarize to english. I mean, those The Simpson videos are in english and I'm not using any subtitles. Although sometimes, I don't catch what they're saying but roughly I understand what they mean. It's a progress to me. It's great. :)



By the way, I was going to the zoo with my family. When I was in the zoo, I found many interesting thing. One of them is opportunity which is trading. In this case, the thing that actually lower cost can become higher. And the result of the profit can be unbelievable. What I mean here is, some people sell thing which actually cheap with higher cost and make higher profit as well. And if we compare it to the same product in the different place, it'll be so expensive. So, the point here is, if we can doing something which is exactly the same but in the different way, we may get the better result. So, be smart when doing something.

At the same time, I see people who is really hard to sell their product though they've done such a tough promotion but the result isn't really satisfying yet. Too bad. I think the cause is because they sell their product in the place which isn't really strategic. That's all. Be smart when doing something.



And then, Pickpocket. I see a broken wallet which seems to be broken by pickpocket. I just don't understand. While the other trying hard to make money by their effort, but some bad people just try to steal what they don't deserve. I mean, they don't try to make money by working. They're stealing people's stuff. It's bad. Too bad. (Okay, I think this passage is getting weird and nonsense)



and the last, I heard a recording from think simple now (from Tina Sue). She said that the hardest thing in doing action was starting it. She explained some possible solution to overcome it. She said that we just had to try the tiniest thing and to focus on them and keep on the track. Then, after finishing one thing, do the others like the first one. That's all. Simple but it works.

Well, I think that's all I can write. I'm sorry if you find this useless cause I don't feel like writing actually. LOL. Thanks. See you and keep chasing your dream. Bye! :)

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Feel Like Burnt

It's the first day of 2013. When I see that new number, I feel like burnt. I must do so much better that last year. I have to start it it today. At this time! Mustn't wait the future. Do everything I can do for a better future now. I'm going to do something I will thank for in the future for doing it.

Actually, last year. 2012. When I saw the new calendar last year which is 2012, I said to myself that I was going to go through many new things, many hardships to achieve my dream. And for this year, I'll say, I'm going to go through many new things and many challenges as well as satisfying results. I promise. :)



I must use my time better. Ya Allah, please help me to chase my dream, to realize it. I hope I will get my target this year successfully. Aamiin.

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Experience

Oh, I'm really tired and sleepy right now. But I'm still going to make a notes.

Yesterday, I've read some useful articles from many inspiring people. And now, I have a passage to write about it.

I wonder, why did I fail to entrance university this year. In my mind, I'd done many things to prepare the test to entrance university. But yeah, I can do nothing but giving my best to get the best result. Maybe, Allah wants me to experience it this year. And I can't deny that I get many valuable times this year. It's amazing.

As I mentioned about the article I read yesterday, I find that most of those blog authors have a great things inside them which is wanting to do more than the other. I mean, to get high achievement, you don't have to own some amazing skill in expert level or have a special ability. The only thing you need to to do doing more than usual. That'll make everything better.



Fyuuhh, I think I'm not good in writing. I really want to write all of my ideas in my head. Unfortunately, when I'm writing, those idea just disappear. In other hand, when I speak to my self, I've got many things to say. Too bad. Lack of idea, now.

I'm trying to remind what I was thinking about when I spoke to my self this afternoon. I think it's about how to value our self. But I feel like sleeping. I'm really sleepy right now. Maybe, I can write well tomorrow. See you. Have a nice dream!.

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Overseas Oh! Overseas

Today, I read many articles and watched some motivating clip. It was great. It was valuable time. I can learn a lot from all of my activities today. And here, I'm going to write down some lesson I got today.

First of all, I watched some videos about overseas. Yes, overseas, the thing I'm crazy about. Since I was a very little kid, I really wanted to visit overseas; to feel new environment, new language, and every new things there. Watching that videos made me envy of those who can travel the world many times. I really want to be like them. So, it motivates me to do better. To set my goal more detail and reasonable. Unfortunately, I feel a bit down about my progress in learning math cause there's something I can't understand in concept. But I still have a plan to overcome it.



Then, I read many articles on blog. I don't know why, but again, It provides me many things about living abroad. But there, I got many lesson about hardship to achieve a goal. And I hope his tips will work to me as well.



And lastly, I read an article from well-know motivating website think-simple-now. It's such great website. I highly recommend you to visit it. And there, I got some interesting question for the readers of that web. Here they are :



1. What were some of the happiest memories from your past? What were you doing?

~ Let's see. I need several time to think about the happiest one. Because I think, every single moment is very happy for me. Perhaps, being with family and friends and achieving my goal is the happiest moment.

2. What were some of your dreams as a child?

~ My dreams remain till now. I really want to travel some foreign countries, and actually to be a teacher (I don't think so, now)



3. What would you do if you were not afraid?

~ I think afraid it one of the biggest obstacles in my life. Of course, I'll do many things. The most obstacles is afraid of doing mistakes in front of people (shy)

4.What would you like to learn? What next action step can you take?

~ I'm going to learn more about computer software, math, english, bahasa, chemistry and physics. I have arrange the step to learn them, which is using computer. First, because I don't have computer, I'll use my office computer and next month I'll buy the new one. I hope it'll be success, cause it'll be my turning point Aamiin.

5. What are some dreams you?d like to realize now? Write them down on a piece of paper and make sure the success of their attainment is measurable.
~ It's clearly written HERE.



6. What are some of your dreams? What are some dreams you?ve achieved, and how did you achieve them?
~ My dreams is actually clearly written HERE.
~ Actually, None of what I have achieved now is my dream. They're only my desire such as obtaining flying colour on my study certificates and so on.

Okay, that's all. I'm going to continue reading some others opinions in think simple now. See you! Keep chasing your dream.

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REPELIBU

I think I'm going to make such a plan for a certain time. I'll name it as REPELIBU. Actually, It's adopted from goverment program in the past named REPELITA. It's the short form of Rencana Pembangunan Lima Tahun (Five Years Development Plan). But here, I'll change it into REPELIBU and it the short form of Five Months Development Plan. It's shorter actually, and weird as well. LOL.



The reason I made it shorter because, It's suitable to my main goal next year which is five months remaining. Yeah, I have to prepare very well for the test of entrance to University because I failed this year. Too bad. Therefore, based on my last experience I have to give the best for next year, though there's no one can guarantee that I'm able to register the entrance next year. However, Like I said as my daily quotes, 'Nothing to Lose', so, I'll do my best in every chance I can take. Who knows about the result but God, right?

To make it easier, I'll write it in list form. And here they are :
1. Had learnt 1st Disk by early Jan, 2013
2. Had owned a notebook by late Feb, 2013
3. Had learnt 2nd Disk by late Feb, 2013
4. Had mastered a half of book of mathematics in library by middle March, 2013
5. Had learnt all of the disk by late April, 2013



see? It's perfectly simple. Probably, most of you ask, 'Why don't I make it simpler as One, such as completed learning all of them by late march?.' yeah... It's possible but unlikely to be done. Make it more detail will make it easier actually. I want to master all of high school basic subject, therefore I should do so much harder.

Well, to realise all of the plan above, I'm going to write some ways I can do. First of all, I'll start to learn it in office. I mean, till now, I haven't even finished one subject. Too bad, right?. So, by now, I'll do it. The next thing is, I won't waste my time by watching tv. It's kind of useless. I'd better use my time by learning.

Okay, some of you may be wondered whether I'm unusual teenage who spend my time by learning and you said "Are you kidding us? Learning all the time. It's totaly boring!". Well, it's not actually like that. I mean, of course it'll be boring to spend most of my time by learning. But, 'learning' I mean here, is doing something fun. Something I like which is usefull to increase my knowledge as well. Such as, watching cartoon in english without any subtitle. It'll improve my english by fun way, right?. So, it's not so that bored.



How about math?. Yeah, I admit that it's not always fun to learn math. Fortunately, I learn math from fancy Disk. You may wonder about what kind of disk I'm talking about. It's zenius (zenius.net). It's fancy way to learn a lot about math and other subject. You can see on its website. Just visit it.

Actually, what I want emphasize here, is to learn constantly and not to be bored. That's all. Keep chasing your dream! See you.

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